Farewell to Some Old Friends
This one is for us ladies, no guy I know would “get it”. Today I am saying good bye to some old friends. It all started with my cancer diagnosis and the need to lose weight for my surgery. One bi-lateral mastectomy and 40 pounds later, I am not the same person. Now this has its up side. After all, I can’t regret that the cancer was found so early, or my radical choice to try and eliminate any chance of cancer recurrence, and of course, I have spent most of my adult life wishing I was thinner or trying to get that way.
But in my former life I picked up some very good friends … in the way of clothes that I will never wear again. I have spent most of my dieting life yo-yoing up and down, so I rarely got rid of the clothes that were truly my favorites, because down the line I (and they) knew I’d be back. We had a very comfortable relationship, and they were always there for me. Ready to try and hide that last 5 or 10 …or 20 pounds that had crept up once again. Accepting me no matter where I was at and working to make me look good and professional in spite of myself.
Now all that is over, Because of my surgery, I will never fit in those clothes again, even if I should gain weight. We are about to say goodbye forever, and as I strip my closet, I feel sad, so help me!
This is the dress I wore when my son got married, this is the one I wore to my ordination, this one travelled well, for grad school trips to Georgia, Tennessee, California, and Washington DC and Hawaii. My husband always liked that blue dress on me, I’m sure that black outfit made me look ten pounds thinner and this suit or jacket made me feel confident and competent whenever I wore it, not matter what the occasion.
All this null and void now, I prepare to say goodbye. Some outfits will go to good friends by special request but most will go to consignment shops, because I will have to come up with some money somehow to replace these old friends with new ones. The kicker is, I don’t like shopping anymore. I don’t want to go look for replacements, because I know before I start that I will not find these old friends in a newer, smaller size.
Why is it that we get so attached to our clothes? Perhaps it is because what we choose is an extension of our personality. And now, life has changed, and I am not the same. For better or for worse, me and my old friends must move on. Together we step into a misty unknown future. Forgive me if I shed a tear or two.
